Hermione Weasley: The Case of the Bouncing Diamond
by Nimbus 1944
Summary: When the Muggle world couldn’t have done it, and the magic world couldn’t have done it, whodunit?


**Hermione Weasley and the Case of The Bouncing Diamond**

**When the Muggle world couldn't have done it,**  
**and the magic world couldn't have done it,**  
**whodunit?**

* * *

Ginny Potter found the door she wanted at Magical Law Enforcement and peeked into the room. "Hi, double-oh nothing!"

Hermione Weasley, her head propped up with both hands, looked up from her pile of work parchments and smiled. "Hi, Gin. You're an absolute sunbeam on a rainy day."

"You said you had your own office now, so I thought I'd drop in and see how muggularly upscale it is."

"As you can see, it's just a smidge bigger than my old work-slave cubicell, but the walls reach the ceiling, so it's a room. I can't complain. It has a window overlooking the lobby, and no ghosts or critters. And, it's quiet, so I can be gloomy in peace."

"So what's gloomy?"

"Oh, it's nothing, really. The case _de jour _has me stumped so far. Even so, I'm looking forward to it. It's a classic puzzle for any mystery lover: a theft from a locked room!"

"Humph. Anyone with decent magic could apparate in. So it must be in the Muggle world."

"That's why my chief involved me. Two people at the crime scene are witches, so I have to see if they've been misusing magic. The only problem is the security around the room."

"Why?"

"The police inspector on the case is our contact at Scotland Yard, who alerted us. He himself took advance precautions against apparation."

"So he's a wizard himself?"

"Yes."

"Then, why are you gloomy? He's the best inspector you could possibly hope for."

"Yes and no. Necessarily, he's also my third suspect. He's a recovered thief, that I helped nab years ago. Still, if he's telling the truth, the room was so tight, no magician could have gotten in or out — not even him!"

-o-

"As I live and breathe! Hermione Gee Whizly. Or is it Weasley? It's been a while."

Hermione shook his huge hand. "Morgan Bartholomew, an Inspector now! That's hard to believe. You're still walking in the light, I hope?"

"Of course! It's steady money, with less hazardous work… and, as long as I'm working for the Yard, I don't have to deal with jaol food or parole licences."

"Set a thief to catch a thief, they say."

"So, what brings my favourite witch to a Muggle crime scene?"

"I'm your Ministry man. Woman. Person. Whatever."

"Oh, good! I'd rather be working with you than hiding from you."

"Rumour has it you're got a Locked Door with a possible case of Misuse."

"Right. You've heard of the Kalahari Diamond?"

"Isn't that coming to the Museum of London soon?"

"Yeah, but with a preview showing here. The diamond's new owner is a member in this joint, and wanted to brag about it this way. As luck would have it, despite high security, it grew legs overnight."

"What is this place, anyway?"

"Lemme show you around. It's the Empire Explorers and Discoverers Society, a dusty old Victorian club for dusty old men — toffee-nosed colonels and archeologists who managed to fill the museums of Britain without getting shot or eaten in the darker corners of the world. Now they come here to swap lies, play cards, write their memoirs, hide from their wives, tipple on…"

"Thanks for all the local colour," she interrupted, "but are you going to tell me about the building any time soon?"

"Don't get your wand in a bend, luv, I was coming to it! Right. So. The ground floor is the game room, for general hanging around; the little service rooms at the back end are the kitchen, furnace room and a loo. The next floor up is a reference library — that's your scene of the crime— and it's surrounded entirely by corridors; on the back corridor are the manager's office, a small classroom and another loo. The top floor is the Board of Directors' conference room, again ringed with corridors; at the back of that are an empty storage room, a maid's room, and maid's bath."

"Okay. So the main action is a game room, library and board room. Got it. You seem very familiar with these folks. Cased the joint before, have you?"

"I'm a member, actually. That's why they suggested me to help secure the place yesterday. That, and the fact that I'm intimately familiar with the Kalahari Diamond."

"How?" she laughed. "Did you steal it once?"

"Aw, you're too good at this! I helped 'find' it in the first place, actually. Back then, I was your basic tomb thief, but since I was British, yeah, you could call me an archeologist. We glommed the rock, then drove at high speed across a hundred miles of the Kalahari, with local warlords on our tail, treating us to gunfire the whole way. Long story short, they ran out of ammo before Sakoma; good thing, 'cos our escape from there was a hot air balloon. We floated across the border and sold the diamond uncut in Johannesburg, at a very good price. Thirty years later, it's been cut, and it's a real beauty. Absolutely clear, and unmounted so far. Second largest in the world, and worth a fortune to whoever did this."

"Do I have your word, for whatever that's worth, that you didn't do it?"

"That, and better; I brought your Ministry aurors in ,and they were with me all night! I haven't been to bed since yesterday afternoon at 4. The aurors and I set up the Muggle security patrol last night, then checked the premises for charms, and it was clean. We were there when the room was sealed at Midnight. Knowing wizards are not always honest, present company excepted, we threw an anti-apparation charm over the whole joint, same type as they use at Hogwarts. I sat up drinking strong coffee with the auror night shift at the Ministry, then we boogied back here at 6 AM to open up — and it was gone."

"I understand there are witches here. Who are they?"

"Two of 'em; both are poor folk. One's rather old, and the other's a kid; can't see how they coulda done it. Miss Irma Heathrow is 72, and cooks here. I knew her when she was a right wizard archeologist, no pun intended, but her better days are behind her. She was injured fighting the Death Eaters, so she can't cast a spell or do much else too well these days, and earns a living in the kitchen. The other is Miss Flora Reston, 15; empties ashtrays, waits on the members in the game room, works with Irma and generally helps around. She's only here on Summer holiday, when she's not at Hogwarts, and she's supporting her mum, an impoverished Muggle widow."

"Was either one near the library?"

"They saw the diamond early yesterday, then went about their work. Today, neither one's been there."

"Did they have any opportunity to do the theft, y'think?"

"Old Irma went home long before the stone vanished, so I can't lay it on her. Only Flora stayed overnight. She could get away with a little underage magic during the day, when adult magic folk like Irma and I are here; but, once we're gone, she can't cast a spell without the Ministry spotting her. So, she had no opportunity. Like I said, I did my charm, then I watched the house manager close the room doors with the diamond on display. I was back at 6 when the doors were opened on an empty display."

"Okay, let's brainstorm every wild possibility. Could it still be in the library?"

"Not a chance. Swept every inch."

"Could a guard or Auror have taken it?"

"It was perched on an open display stand in the middle of the library. There's only one set of library doors, and Scotland Yard put a security camera with a recorder outside the doorway. No one came or went."

"Why didn't you put the camera _in_ the library?"

"No electricity, dearie, except the ceiling lamps. Whilst the doors were open, the camera had a clear view of the stone. A sign by the diamond said Do Not Touch, and no one did."

"A secret door in the library walls, perhaps?"

"No chance. Except for the doorway, it's one solid set of tall bookshelves. The surrounding corridors were patrolled on foot."

"Swinging shelves?"

"Only in detective stories. It's surrounded by corridors, remember."

"Crawl space through the ceiling?"

"No way. For an open room without columns, the joists have to be close together. Then too, the ceiling is all wood panels, not gypsum fibreboard."

"Hinged panel, from the room above?"

"Above it is the board room. There's a wall-to-wall Persian rug on a wooden floor, and held down by a long conference table, which weighs about ten herns, so it never gets moved. That's right in the middle, above the diamond display. We checked it before and after. Nobody cut a rug there."

"A door in the library floor, or maybe the display was on a table that lowers into the floor?"

"Again, no good. Down below, the ground floor is wide open space in the game room, with the ceiling held up by brick-and-mortar columns. Can't go up into the library through the framework or the columns."

"Maybe the guards stopped the video recorder, and restarted it after they stole the diamond?"

"The recording's got a clock. No interruptions all night."

"How about the usual — air ducts?"

"The library has ducts for air conditioning, but too tiny for a thief and blocked by steel rods and whatnot. Even if a wizard morphed into an animal that'd get through, the diamond's too big to get through the welded steel-wire gratings. They have a few rare books, so they thought all this out long ago."

"A good puzzler so far. Can I meet the manager?"

"Sure. Ulysses Waring, a terribly nice old coot. He's probably moping in his office."

-o-

"Mr. Waring? Sorry to bother you. The name's Hermione Weasley. I'm helping the Inspector. Do you have a moment?"

"Oh, come in, Miss Weasley, have a seat. You look rather young to be Scotland Yard."

"Thank you for that; I'm older than I look. I should say right off that I'm not with the police; I'm just a minor government worker with a curiosity for such cases, and I'm helping Inspector Bartholomew."

"Whatever. If it will help, I'd be glad to chat. Tea?"

"Thank you, no. I understand you were home when all the fuss was going on."

"Yes. We kept the display open until much too late. It was almost midnight by the time the members were out and the police and Bramah security folks were in place. I sealed the library, and went home for a few hours of sleep. They opened it at 6, and… well, you know the rest. I came in at my usual time, 8 AM, and of course, the place was in complete chaos by then!"

"So I hear. Now, you have several employees. Were any here overnight?"

"Only our Summer help, a young lady. Her mother's flat is too small for two to share comfortably. I let her use the maid's room upstairs, with a bed and table and a small refrigerator. The old girl's working to put the daughter through some boarding school, and the daughter's trying to help. I don't know how they manage, so I do what I can for her."

"That would be Flora Reston? Is she here now?"

"Yes. Nice girl, very quiet and helpful. This is her second Summer here."

"Do you trust her in this matter?"

"Oh, implicitly! Has the Inspector told you everything about the library and all?"

"Yes."

"Then you must understand my reasoning. We haven't a clue how a master thief could get in the library, so why would I think that a young schoolgirl could do it? Why, she'd have to be a _magician!" _

-o-

A short, shy teenage girl in maid's dress answered Hermione's knock on the door.

"Yes?"

"Flora? Hi. I'm Mrs. Weasley, Ministry of Magic. I'm helping the Inspector on his case. Have a min?"

"Certainly, ma'am. Come in. I was just making myself a drink; would you like one, whilst I have the soda and ice out?"

"Thank you, no. I just wanted a few minutes. I can understand if you're anxious to get out in the fresh air."

"Oh, big time! I feel sorry for Mr. Waring, and the members were all turned away at the door. My whole schedule has been off today, what with police and inspectors. Questions, and searches, then we can't go here, can't go there. I didn't have lunch whilst I was downstairs, and now I can't go there to make some dinner, 'cos the kitchen's being searched! All I've had to eat today is tea, tea, tea. Well, it's finally quitting time, and I'm so starved! I usually avoid takeout, as I can't afford it, but it'll have to do tonight."

"I shan't be long."

"Has the Inspector figured it out yet?"

"He's spinning his wheels. Everything says magic must have been used to enter during the lockdown, but magic couldn't be used during the lockdown, so Muggle methods had to be used, but there's no way for a Muggle to get in or out of the locked room, so back to step one, magic. Fascinating… a complete loop of contradictions! Has the Inspector searched your flat?"

"Yes. He quizzed me, decharmed the room, and looked in every nook and cranny, but sorry, no buried treasures here. I can't imagine he misses much."

"Then, let's chat a bit on the way to the front door. Yes, I agree on Inspector Bartholomew; he seems very methodical. He's everything his chief could hope for. Shame, really."

"Why? That's good, isn't it?"

"He's so thorough, he's going to fail. Whilst he's examining every lump in the coal bin, or whatever, the diamond might escape the building."

"So it's a lost cause, then?"

"Not really. I could help him find it right off, and the thief to boot."

"Oh! Do you know who did it, then?"

"I'm very sure I do. And I could prove it, with a simple charm that I've known since I was younger than you. It would be terribly embarrassing to the thief, naturally, but to the Inspector as well. To Scotland Yard, I'm a nobody who tagged along with him. I shan't be the one to solve it; he must. Even then, he can't really file a report to Muggles that it was stolen by magic, and recovered by magic; they'd laugh him out of headquarters."

"If I might ask, what's the charm you'd use?"

Hermione smiled. "_Accio. _I'd simply summon the diamond."

"Then you'd have it, but you'd never know who was hiding it."

"Ahh, but I think I know. Be assured, the diamond's still here, and it's not going out the door. It'll be going back to Mr. Waring, with half a confession from the thief. The thief will take the blame for it, but avoid disclosing the magic world by not telling how it was done. If Mr. Waring accepts that, we'll contrive a way to close the case, without prosecution. Fair to the diamond's owner, and more than generous to the thief, who planned this whole impromptu crime rather quickly and foolishly. Clever, yes, but very foolish. By now, the thief is wishing it never happened."

"So it _was_ a wizard! But… I thought we magic folk were cleared! You said it _couldn't _have been magic."

"Not exactly. It all has to do with good timing."

"Sorry?"

"If you aren't, you should be."

Hermione halted their stroll at the bottom of the stairs, with the building exit in sight, and pulled Flora into a dark corner.

"Let me give you a scenario, Flora," continued Hermione in a low voice. "You heard the diamond would be here, and where it'd be, and you thought it out ahead of time. Once the building went into lockdown at Midnight, you would be not able to come downstairs to the library or the ground floor. You had to create a way to get into the library from upstairs, where you sleep, which means you had to go through the board room rug and snatch the diamond through the library's ceiling.

"Now, you could not possibly have used magic after Midnight, because once the other magic folk had left the premises, the Ministry would have spotted you using underage magic. That's where the Inspector's been bogged down! He's been thinking of the robbery as one simple act during lockdown; actually, I think it was done in steps. There had to be magic, and logically, any magic had to be done before or after the lockdown period, whilst he was here — magic for the entry, but not for the theft itself.

"You waited until the inspector made his rounds, just before Midnight. He declared the board room rug to be solid, and headed downstairs to do the lockdown. Before he could leave the building, you quickly went in the board room, moved a chair aside at the middle of the board table, and cast a egress charm, opening a hole in the floor under the table, where no one would step into it; then, in quick succession, cast another charm which cloaked the hole to look like its surroundings. Downstairs, the ceiling showed nothing; upstairs, the rug looked to be intact. Congratulations, by the way; that's a clever use of charms at a young age.

"Some time after Midnight, when no magic was possible, you had the entire upper floor to yourself. You quietly moved the chair and went to work at the cloaked hole. Now, I don't know if you lowered yourself on a rope, or juat dangled a wad of chewing gum to snare it. It doesn't matter, really. Somehow, though, you grabbed the little darling. You couldn't close the hole and uncloak it at that hour, or you'd alert the ministry. So, you put the chair back in place and hoped no one would prod under the board table for a few hours. You waited for Inspector Bartholomew or Irma Heathrow to arrive, so your last bit of underage magic would go unnoticed because two adult magicians were on the premises, flipping their wands and doing things."

Flora had an objection. "But, Mrs. Weasley, I usually get up at 5.30 to make my breakfast. I was escorted downstairs, and I was eating in the game room, when the Inspector arrived at 6. Once the fuss started, I was restricted to the bottom floor. I couldn't have gone up to the library or the board room to close this hole before he checked them."

"And you couldn't do it from a floor away, either. You hadn't planned that. I bet you were in a tizzy! But in the end, you didn't have to do anything. In the morning, the Inspector inadvertently helped you! He went from room to room, waving his wand to remove any charms, so he could find anything the thief had hidden. When he did it in the library, poof! In an instant, the hole was repaired. I bet you were relieved when you two went upstairs to check your room, and you realised what his methodology was doing for you. In very neat fashion, he completed your job, destroyed the last bit of incriminating evidence, provided you with a morning alibi, and overlooked the diamond in its hiding place."

Flora didn't look up.

"How did I do, Flora?" asked Hermione.

"If all that was true, ma'am, how would the diamond have escaped the police search? They've checked everywhere! I couldn't have cloaked the diamond, or the Inspector would have found it."

"Exactly. Inspector Bartholomew thought you would have used magic to hide it. I think you took a low-tech Muggle way out. The diamond was coulourless and unmounted. After you stole it, you dropped it in your ice cube tray and filled the tray with water. Once it froze over, the diamond sat in your refrigerator all day, just as invisible as if it was cloaked. The inspector's charm did nothing to it. And now you're trying to carry it out the door in your drink, with me for an escort. It won't happen, Flora. Shall I do the _accio_, or… ?"

Flora sighed, slowly turned and went to the bottom step of the staircase, where she sat down, holding the cool cup to her forehead. "Do your charm," she said resignedly.

"I'm sorry, Flora. _Accio_ Kalahari Diamond."

The ice remained in the cup.

Hermione, taken aback, tried the charm again, but nothing happened.

Flora looked up to her. "You can check the rest of the ice cubes, if you'd like. I could help you look around, but if it's all right, might I go to dinner first, ma'am? I'm _really_ starved."

-o-

Inspector Bartholomew nodded in sympathy. "Thought you had her, did you?"

"I did," said Hermione. "Even her responses sounded like lame excuses, trying to avoid what was coming. Then I went for the big finish, and… nothing. I'm gobsmacked. Do you like my scenario anyway?"

"Up to the point where you fall flat on your face. Still think she's guilty?"

"To tell the truth, yes. Morgan, she even winced when I mentioned your charm closing the hole! Somehow, I've drawn the wrong conclusion. She did it! She got the diamond, she hid it, and it's still here. There's some simple answer. I'm sure of it!"

"Well, I took your hint, and I've opened up things and _accio_'ed my little heart out, even outdoors, and nothing's coming my way. If it's here, it's locked up well so it can't answer the call. Tried anything else to prove your case?"

"Yes. I carry my witch version of a wireless phone." She held up a locket. "This is a charmed miniature portrait of Phineas Black, one of the Hogwarts headmasters. There are four other charmed paintings of him: one at Hogwarts, one at my office, one at Heron's Nest, and one at my parents' house. Very handy. I've just had Phineas check with Madam Dewey, librarian at the school, and she tells him that Flora is a bright student, who has been checking out textbooks for the upper years. It seems she has a fascination with charms and spells."

"So, you're trying to say she knows how to make a hole and cloak it?"

"A good possibility."

"Not to rush you, Weasley, but I've got to go home and get my beauty sleep soon. When I do, I'll lose control of the crime scene. If you have an answer, let's get it done."

"All right. I have one last idea. Is Flora back from dinner?"

"Just came back."

"Good. Let's reconstruct the crime, my way."

-o-

Flora was as nervous as before. "I don't know what this is supposed to prove."

"I'm just checking the rest of my theory," said Hermione, to see if it's feasible. "We're going to open a hole here, under the table, into the ceiling of the library. We might even try to cloak it. You know those charms, don't you?"

"I've only been through Fourth Year, ma'am."

"Yes, but you're an advanced student of the art, aren't you? Madam Dewey seems to think so."

"That's just a hobby of mine!… well, yes, in answer to your question, I do know the egress and cloaking charms."

"Fine. Morgan, you've sealed off the library?"

"Um-hum."

"Let's give it a go, then. Or, would you prefer I do it?"

Flora hesitated. "No. I'll… I'll do it." She took out her wand and cast the charm.

A hole grew in the rug and floor, and light shined through from the library. The Inspector peered down, and directly below was the display table.

"The cloaking charm is nothing special," said Flora, "just Fifth Year magic. Now I'll remove the hole…"

Hermione stopped her. "No, no. Not just yet, dear. No need to rush. First, I'll do _my_ charm."

"Ooh…" moaned Flora. She slowly sat down in the chair, dropped her wand and buried her face in her hands.

Hermione pressed on. "_Accio _Kalahari Diamond." There was a rattling in the floor, like a mouse scampering from the edge of the room toward the hole, and the missing diamond came flying into her hand.

Hermione handed it to the Inspector with satisfaction. "There you go. Flora removed it from the library, and whilst the hole was open, she tossed it a few feet to one side, between the ceiling joists. Once your de-charming locked it inside the ceiling, I couldn't summon it. She was in no rush after that; for all she cared, it could have sat here until next Summer, when no one was looking for it any more."

Flora was red-faced and tearful. "Oh, I was such a duh to start this! But once I opened the hole, I told myself I couldn't back out. Now I've lied and shamed myself to you and Mr. Waring, and my mother will hear about it, and so will Hogwarts. And worse, now the Muggles will find out about magic folk. I'm so _stupid!"_

-o-

Towards evening, Inspector Bartholomew sidled up to a waiting Hermione. "It's done, Weasley," he said. "Waring won't press charges. Flora did it as a desperate way to help her mother, who knew nothing about it. Waring believes Flora, and trusts she won't do it again. She can stay in her present job, and no one will know. The diamond's in my pocket, and the owner says the museum's coming for it."

"Excellent," smiled Hermione. "The Ministry says they'll take no action if we can quiet things down here, so that the Muggles accept what happened without need for an Obliviator team."

"But there's still the little matter of filing my report. It's all well and good to say I've recovered the diamond, but how do we explain to the Muggles where it was all day, without mentioning magic?"

"Oh, just be humble. You simply overlooked it for a while. It 'once was lost, but now is found,' as we say."

"And I 'was blind, but now I see,' fine. Now, why don't you do one of those typical Ministry coverups and tell me _where _I saw it, and how it got there. I'm sure you've thought it out."

"Why, the library is so air-tight that when Mr. Waring slammed the door at Midnight, the diamond was shaken off its perch and fell to the floor, don't you know! It went bouncing about, and ended up well-hidden from sight on a brace under the seat of a library chair. The good detective that you are, you searched the more obvious places first, saving the library for last. Your long hours of clever, intensive detective work found it, proving that it never was stolen — just accidentally misplaced. Try it. It should fool anyone."

"Not bad, Weasley. I like it! In that case, I think I'll go check the library chairs, make my discovery and wrap it up. The diamond's back without a king's ransom, we both file stellar reports, and if I'm lucky, maybe I'll get a bonus. I owe you lunch again, dearie."

"No, no, nooo! _This_ time, you and your bonus are staking me and my husband to a posh dinner in London — oh, say, at the Fat Duck. Remember to make reservations, won't you? Sure, it's considerably more than McDonald's, but what's money to a man who has briefly possessed the Kalahari Diamond, _twice? _Ta."

* * *

POTC fans will understand my choice of name for the thief turned lawman. Re the table's weight, a Hern is a unit of damage to yourself from lifting heavy objects. Original story material is the property of the fanfic author; other material of JK Rowling et al. falls under the usual disclaimer.


End file.
